I'm an emotional person. I'm not sure if through circumstance I've become over emotional or if I've always been this way. I can't answer that question and right now I'm not going to stress about it either. I am emotional - that is what I am.
However I'm realising I need to learn to manage my emotions so that my emotions do not control me. Being reactive, instead of proactive, is proving deadly for me. It is making me lash out at people I love without thought. This is not fair on them or me. Living with my heart on my sleeve is not good for my emotional wellbeing. It means I make decisions from a place which isn't always giving me the right message.
During the Heart Mapping day I attended we briefly touched on the 90 seconds of emotions, I had never heard of it before and in fact had forgotten about it almost as soon as I heard it. Today however, for a variety of reasons, the topic of my emotional reactions has come up. I sat down tonight needing to write, but really not knowing where to start. Having had a pretty rough 72 hours I wasn't sure what I did and didn't want to share, although I recognised that I did need to share....
Into my head popped the 90 second chat... and onto Google I typed "90 second emotions". Well Fate she is a lady of mystery but she certainly knows when to pop up and make me take notice.
We all react - to that irritating client on the phone, the child that just will not be quiet for 5 minutes, the spouse that didn't pick up the milk, the parent that is taking up our time again, the friend that is always complaining, the text we misread - and on reacting we lash out - we hurt those we love, we hurt ourselves, we say things in the heat of the moment that we can never retract. And later we sit and wonder what we could have done differently - what would have changed the outcome - still allowing us to express our emotion but in a more positive, loving manner....
All we needed to do is PAUSE.....
FOR NINETY SECONDS.....
Having done the whole ADHD / Biopolar chemical / dopamine etc routine with Kyle I have some knowledge of the affects of chemicals on the brain functions. To be honest though I never really looked into deeply. Dealing with Kyle on a day to day level was enough without me still freaking myself out further with facts and figures. I now so wish I had read more... maybe I would have come across this before and it is a technique I could have taught him years ago. I will give it a bash now. And I certainly will take it on for myself. And teach Nathan!
If we can all learn to just pause for 90 seconds and let the emotion move through our body the world would probably be a more peaceful place to live in. Although to be honest I'm not to worried about the world right now... a peaceful home would be first prize for me.
We have an amazing body - it is able to absorb almost all the negativity we throw its way on a daily basis. All the bad habits, negative thoughts and rash emotions. Time we gave it a break... just 90 seconds, to pause, regroup and breathe.
Give it a shot. It may work.
Did you know the chemicals that make up our emotional feelings only stay in our blood for 90 seconds? 90 Seconds! We all have the power to cycle out of worry, anger or fear…here’s how.
Feel how your “mood” or “attitude” or “feeling” actually feels in your body. Are you calm? Peaceful? Happy? Is life feeling pleasant right now? If not, then REST, put yourself on PAUSE for 90 seconds.
STOP whatever you are doing. Breathe. Breathe again. Breathe once more.
Then shift your thoughts to anything or anyone you love and allow your chest to relax: music, sunsets, mountains, oceans, dogs – and keep picturing and thinking and breathing for 90 seconds.
This isn’t a game, this is physiology. You must be truly engaged with your emotions for this to work…and it does work! You are the conductor of your internal chemical orchestra.