I never picked up a liking for art at high school, not mastering the required skills to translate still life apples into anything resembling something you could eat or would want to eat for that matter. I would probably have really enjoyed the theory if I could have just done that having a love of history. Thankfully my torture ended with Standard 7 and I was assured that art and all its associated messiness would never darken my door again....
Or so I thought.
I had kids. Out came the finger paints, play dough, paper plate crafts, modge and all the other messy arts and crafts with them. I kept many of their works of art which need to be sorted and put it into albums. Some I do want to frame and hang in my home as reminders of when they were small (and innocent and charming).
Then the kids grew up and away went all the art stuff... yay.... pffft.... I do say this often, I must have seriously pissed off somebody in an afterlife because they certainly know how to come back and bite me when I least expect it!
I picked up the hobby of photography now going on 6 years ago and really started taking it seriously the last 4 years. Over time I've gained confidence and skill (I hope). The other thing I've gained is an eye for light. Which can be seriously inconvenient at times, especially when you are driving and suddenly you see what is the perfect light and where are you - stuck in peak hour traffic on the freeway with no camera in sight - well maybe your camera phone (but we won't even go there). So I'm a light watcher. I love to watch how it changes - it is subtle but constant. In summer you have mere moments to catch the warmth of dawn before the light is too harsh. Winter gives you a slightly longer period and a warmer sunrise.
Have you ever watched the sun set? It goes down so much quicker than you realise. In seconds it goes from hovering above the horizon to gone. Watch the play of light through the leaves of the trees or petals of the flowers - it is beautiful and soothing. The light that filters through the curtains onto the wall. It is ever changing and moving and magical.
Light : soft and hard, harsh and delicate, magical, golden, warm, cold... so many ways to describe it, feel it, see it.
So after escaping art for nearly 38 years where do I now find myself.... with this absolute burning desire to paint. Yes paint. Kid you not. And the vision I have.... me on the sun deck, floppy straw hat on head, long flowing dress on, easel with canvas and me painting to my heart's content... I work in Law, have done for nearly 20 years. Usual attire, pencil skirts, button shirts, heels, makeup... not arty flowing dresses... see the contradiction happening here.
My head is going "Nooooooooooooo girl .. what are you thinking!!! Paint!!! Mess, mess, mess. No control. No defined ending. No pretty wrapped package."
My heart is telling me just to pick up the paint brush and let it flow across the canvas and that my soul will speak to me and I will be happy with what I produce. That for once it isn't about perfection. It is about creation. About love. Enjoyment. Contentment.
I know somewhere my photography and the chasing of light is tied up in the sudden desire to paint. I've come across a fair number of photographers who are also painters or crafters of some other form. Strangely enough a fair number of them are also writers. If nothing else digital photography may by default be creating a new generation of artists, writers and crafters. That would be a good thing. The world needs more people like that. People who see the beauty in the mundane and capture it for others to appreciate.
So I find myself headed down another path on my ever winding journey. However I am enjoying what I am learning about myself, life and the world around me. I expanding my joy of life and my appreciation of the small things that bring joy and I'm realising that at my core I am a creative being. I just need to cut her loose and let her paint.