I'm a "WHY" person... I've come to realise this about myself and I know it does drive some people in my life to distraction... but this is who I am... I want to know and I ask questions... and I also question the answers I receive. Yes I know what you thinking but it is what I do.
And so while on the quest for answers I often find myself asking the questions from more than one source. I want to explore a variety of answers in order to formulate my own opinion and conclusions.
My quest at present is healing and understanding myself. The place from which I am coming from and the destination to which I am headed. So I've taken a 3 prong approach to this.. as is my nature.
- Formal therapy
- An online course exploring my authentic self
- A heart mapping course to plot my year
The formal therapy has been a process of which I am now in my 4th month. I've always been a sceptic about 'therapy', having had visions of being stretched out on the couch with my tale of woe.... drizzling away while the therapist pats me on the back and tells me all will be ok. Ha - couldn't have been further from the truth. Peta certainly challenges me in each session. It is never a quick fix ... she doesn't have the answers for me. She has the questions which will in turn help me formulate the answers I'm looking for. And it will always be an on-going process in my mind but it will be a guide I can use forever.
The e-course is based around the idea of letting go of who you think you are supposed to be and embracing who you really are. Finding your authentic self. Not an easy task in this world we live in today. We all feel intense pressure to put forward the persona we think the world expects us to be and we forget that the person we should really be true to is ourselves! Week one is done and dusted. My biggest lesson - I need to learn to give MYSELF more PERMISSION to do the things that bring me joy and happiness. As a woman, mother, wife, employee, friend I often put the needs of others ahead of mine... time to rethink that policy.
Today was the turn of the last ... the heart mapping course. First time I've explored vision boards, themes and touch words. I did have a theme for the year. Based around the Perfection Pledge from the Brene Brown course - I am imperfect and I am enough. My theme for 2014 is I am Enough. I connect strongly with those 3 words. No matter what I am enough and I will no longer allow others to take that feeling of self-belief away from me again.
Heart mapping almost needs to be experienced to be fully understood but I will give it a shot here. In essence what we did today was establish the following :
- Our theme for the year
- Our core values that came from exploring our Relationships / Livelihood & Lifestyle / Body & Wellbeing / Creativity & Learning and our Soul Essence
- The touchstone words which will help us follow through on our theme and values
My theme is 'BEING ENOUGH'
The CORE VALUES I identified most strongly with were :
My TOUCH STONE WORDS to achieve the above are :
So in 2014 in order for me to BE ENOUGH in my heart and to live my life to that theme I need to ensure that I am visible to those around me, that I am connecting and that I am open to connections, blessings and experiences. (Of course I've just realised I've spelt visible incorrectly on my touchstone but that's ok... doesn't make me less than enough!)
We recreated those touch stone words into something solid and tangible and I will put them in a place where I can view them on a daily basis... even duplicating them if necessary to have on my desk at work, next to my bed, in my reading and craft spot.... places I spend most of my time. A constant reminder of the path I am following so that at the end of the year I can truly look back and say I AM ENOUGH.
I learnt so much from today. I didn't finish my vision board - for me it needed thought and planning and I didn't want to just do something random. I will share more of what I learnt from the course over the next few days. Right now I think I need to be quiet and absorb what I have identified with today.
Whenever you start GUIDING yourself by CARING how you FEEL
you start guiding yourself back to your stream of SOURCE ENERGY
and that is where your CLARITY is
that is where your JOY is
that is where your FLEXIBILITY is
that is where your BALANCE is
that is where your GOOD IDEAS come from
that is where all the GOOD STUFF is accessed from