Time to toss them.
Expectations have been the root of a lot my heartache for longer than I care to remember. I'm an unfailing (closet) optimist. I always expect the best of people. I never see the punch coming.... my bad, not yours.
I suppose I've simply become tired of exposing myself and of being hurt. Having any kind of expectations are dangerous, well for me anyway. You give yourself heart and soul to another, be it friend, lover, spouse, parent, child, sibling... It involves a level of trust and faith that few can meet and it isn't always their fault. Some don't see the cues or don't have the emotional capacity to fulfil your expectations. Others will knowingly hurt you and take delight in knowing the damage they are causing. The knowing ones cause the worst damage. That's the punch you expect but still hold you breath hoping it won't come.
Expectations of self are just as destructive. It's like making New Years Resolutions... you make all these wild promises only to have failed before the end of week 1 and you spend the next 51 weeks beating the crap out of yourself for being a failure. If you can't even trust yourself to meet your own expectations how can you trust someone else?
It has been an extremely frustrating week for me. One in which I've been let down by a number of people in my life as a result of my expectations and I know most of them actually not even aware of it as I sit here and type. I was told to stop ... stop having expectations ... it is hindering my healing and taking me back to a place I never want to revisit. I know it will be hard and it is different from having faith. Faith allows me to find a way forward. Expectations block my path.
So stop I will. It is the only expectation I will have of myself.
‘I am open to the guidance of synchronicity, and do not let expectations hinder my path.’
~Dalai Lama