I remember my gran always saying that... pushing up daisies...
Really what she was saying is that all our days are numbered. What we do with them is up to us but they are finite. One day here, next day gone. All of us have been touched by death at some point in our lives, having lost family members, friends, acquaintances, pets. Death always touches our lives in some form or the other. And it seems as you get older you hear of it more often. Sad really. Reunions don't just bring friends together but also often bring the sad news of the passing of old school friends. Open a newspaper and you won't fail to read of a tragic accident or passing of a newsworthy person.
But us as humans have learnt to adapt. We grieve. Depending on the relationship the grief may take months to heal, in other instances we pay our respects and shortly move on with our own lives. Life goes on - the never ending circle of life as it is known. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust we continue with our path not contemplating our own mortality.
As teens and in our 20s and even possibly a lot of us in our 30's don't even consider our own mortality. We have this notion that death will never visit our door. Until we suddenly notice the passing of friends and family. Maybe we married an older partner and are exposed to death through their friends. Or our parents reach the age of fragility and death. Or a friend is killed in a car accident. But suddenly the Grim Reaper starts to seep into our lives, ever so quietly, just touching on the edges, reminding us of his dark presence.
And now we have to be aware that our own days are numbered. We cannot continue to be the footloose and fancy free souls we were, especially if we have children. We have to consider things like medical aids, retirement policies, life assurance, disability cover, dread disease cover... the list is endless. Do we want a Living Will or not? Do we want to be organ donors? Are our Wills in order?
It's dreadful. I've always had my policies because I had kids young but I'm revisiting and revising and as my kids are older and circumstances are different I'm putting changes in place with my Will. But this time around it feels more real. I seem to be asking more adult questions. Considering my options. Planning and plotting the best course of action. Basically acknowledging my days are numbered.
That one day my number will be up....
More than just finding myself making sure my affairs are in order I am finding myself asking the bigger questions. Have I made a difference? To whom am I important? Was I loved and did I love enough in return?
To whom does my mortality matter?
Questions I will probably never know the answers to, but questions none the less....