I've lost my happy place and I need to go in search of it again.
The last few weeks have been rather crappy. I've been caught up in an emotional storm and am struggling to find myself back on solid ground. It means I've lost focus on what makes me happy - what enriches my soul and makes me feel fulfilled and I've allowed myself to become entangled in situations and with people that have depleted the few resources I have.
So I am on a quest - to find my happy place.
As a lot of you will know by now, and I've said before, I'm a 'quoty' person. I love to post quotes I find on Facebook. It either resonates with me or it will resonate with somebody on my friend list and I like to feel I'm doing good... the quote above in resonates with me in an attempt to find my happy place again.
How will I go about it? I agree with the belief. We are not singular entities. We are made up of various aspects and all of these parts of us need nurturing. We have to find the balance but we do need to visit each of the parts on a daily basis. So it's time for me to put my nurturing into action.
Physical - as mentioned yesterday I suffer from adrenal fatigue which makes exercise almost impossible due to exhaustion. However I am going to just get on with it and walk - every day. Build myself up to 5km at least 3x a week and in between do shorter walks. I will join a walking club. With age has come a nervousness to just go walk alone. Shorter walks around the neighbourhood will entail Nathan being dragged out with me. But fresh air and walking. Good for the soul and the waistline.
Mental - hahaha... I am mental!!! However I do have a love of learning. Yes I was THAT school nerd. The love of learning has never left me. I'm a member of Leisure Books - my latest order is not the most recent novel but rather :
Philosophy In Minutes - Philosophy is one of the sources of mankind's greatest ideas and its intellectual and cultural development. The name of this concise guide (part of a series) says it all - find answers to some of life's biggest questions here. Featuring all the big names in philosophy from Aristotle to Marx and beyond, you'll soon be an expert on subjects ranging from ethics to aesthetics and better understand the impact this discipline has on modern-day.
My brain needs constant feeding. I want to learn to play the piano. Writing is my daily form of mental exercise. I do Morning Pages (The Artist Way by Julia Cameron) and I blog here in the evenings. I'm always reading. I want to extend that creativity and learn to draw and paint. My main hobby is photography which is a form of art all on its own. In all likelihood the room that receives the most nurturing for me is my mental room.
I also have a very demanding job which requires me to be more than just a paper pushing secretary taking instructions. I have to think on my feet and resolve problems. It's stressful but I credit that with getting me through these last few years. Had I not had the daily demand of my work to keep my mind focused I may very well have come apart completely.
Emotional - ah possibly the hardest to fulfil. We often think that we need outside emotional input in order to survive. It actually starts with us. We have to love ourselves first before we can accept love from others and love others with all we have. And as we all know loving ourselves is something a lot of us never achieve in our lifetimes.
I have to learn to accept my failures and shortcomings. Make peace with them. Accept I have always done the best I could in the circumstances I was in and with the resources I had at my disposal. Forgive myself. That is the first step towards healing. Let go of past anger and hurt. We hold on to it and it slowly poisons us. The person at who we directed it has long since moved on. Accept you can't go back. So move forward and be at peace.
Other ways to nurture your emotional needs on a daily basis are in the hundreds of small ways that will uplift your soul. Answer the phone with a smile on your lips so the person on the other side can hear it. Say thank you and have a good day to the checkout lady. Slow down and let somebody in front of you in traffic. Cuddle an animal. Say I love you to those people who are important to you every day.
Spiritual - this is a personal thing for each and everyone of us. I'm not 'religious' in the traditional sense. I can't at this point with any certainty say what it is that I do believe in. I believe there is some kind of Higher Being. I believe all religions are in some way interlinked - just think of the Tower of Babel....
But like politics I believe religion is personal so while I will nurture that part of my soul I will also keep it private.
So the goal is to get out of just one room. Explore them all and find my happy place again.
I need my happy place and my happy place needs me.