J U D A S
Judas, the ultimate betrayer. The one who set the stage for humanity's salvation, or did he?
I think we are all our own version of Judas. And we are an awful long way from salvation.
Was out on a street shoot in town today. The first person I saw reminded me of a Priest due to the collar of his shirt. On closer inspection I realised it was just his shirt. Unlike most people in those situations he maintained eye contact and his lips twisted into a smirk. On posting the shot later I commented on the priest link and a friend said he reminded her of Judas. I think she's spot on. On a personal level he looks like he's been to hell and back a number of times... circumstance or choice?
Which leads me to wonder how often do we betray ourselves through our own choices?
All it takes is one bad decision to set a path of destruction, trust me, I know. Your instincts are screeching at you to walk away but noooo you know better!!! A few years down the line you faced with a pile of 'what ifs' and you can't turn back the clock. So then the question is are our destinies preordained or do we have freedom of choice? And if we have freedom of choice then how do we stop being a Judas to our own goals and dreams?
What was this guys story? Drugs? Juvenile delinquency? Alcohol? MIA parents? Injury? What forced him onto the streets? He certainly doesn't look much older then me, if he even is. If he had a choice why did he keep repeating the pattern that put him in this position? If he had no choice why has nobody got his back?
How do we personally betray ourselves? Do we stick with that job just to pay the bills because we're too afraid to take a chance on our passion? Do we stay in a relationship because we're too afraid to rock the boat and of what society will think of our failed relationship status? Do we drive a specific brand of car, kit our kids out in labels, buy into pay TV, never stretch our wings, because society demands us to fit in.... is that not a constant betrayal of self?
I know I am my own worst enemy. I didn't need 15 months of therapy to have that pointed out to me. However it takes a lot of guts to start trusting yourself and start stepping out your own self imposed box, let alone the ones imposed by society. And if you are so rock bottom like the guy in the photo where do you even start? How do you even start?
Given the chance I think next time I'd go and talk to him. Find out who or what the Judas of his life is. In the meantime I am going to concentrate on ensuring my own Judas has less of a hold every day because I want to get out there with purpose. I want to stop betraying who I am because that deprives not just those around me of the true me but I also deprive myself of a full and happy life.
It is not an easy goal to have because it is so much easier to 'fit in' but it is the right goal to have because 'fitting in' seems to just be a betrayal of yourself.