What have I learnt in the last 4 months.. that there is no quick fix to healing. And do I only but wish there was. I wish this was just a paper cut that stings for a moment and then heals and goes away.
Not to be unfortunately. This is going to be a long, ugly, at times very nasty and traumatising process.... How long? I have no idea. All I can do right now is focus on the here and now.
We all have demons to deal with. I think the hard part is knowing how to deal with it without alienating those close to you. It isn't an easy. At times you find you will hurt your loved ones.
The fear makes you doubt your own judgement and you just don't know how to let them in or know if you can trust them to stay when it gets ugly. It's a balancing act and there is no answer. You just have to have faith - faith that you will heal, faith that those who love you will stay, faith that tomorrow the sun will shine again... no matter how bad the storm is tonight.