the less you let things upset you."
~ Stephanie Perkins
verb: know; 3rd person present: knows; past tense: knew; gerund or present participle:knowing; past participle: known
be aware of through observation, inquiry, or information.
have developed a relationship with (someone) through meeting and spending time with them; be familiar or friendly with.
I know I'm guilty of letting the actions of others upset me. I get caught up in the drama and it drains my energy faster then that bouncy toddler from yesterday. It has taken a lot of time, hard inner work, 15 months of therapy and the support of some really exceptionally special people in my life, to get me to the point where I can breathe through some of the more uncomfortable moments and just let silence be the answer.
And that for me is not easy! By nature I like to have the last word (ask those exceptionally special people, they know). The difference now is that I know this about myself and I've accepted that I need to work on it. The last word usually doesn't help the situation so I'm learning to know when the time is right for me to defend my point of view or when it is okay just to walk away.
Not every question I am asked deserves or needs an answer.
Note to self : When you see that name pop up on your cellphone let the call go to voicemail!!!
Self knowledge and mindfulness compliment each other. When we know and are comfortable with who we are in the world we start to appreciate the present moment because we have learnt to focus on what is in front of us right now. We are no longer focusing on obtaining the approval of others, or fretting about mistakes made in the past or potential mistakes awaiting us in the future. We seek only self approval and that only comes with knowing yourself.
So take time to unpack yourself. Grab a pen and some paper and jot down some things:
- Your favourite food
- The type of music you like to listen to or what kind of music lifts a blue mood
- What you enjoy about the current season
- Who in your life has inspired you (keep it personal - yes Mother Teresa inspired many but who close to you has also had an impact on your life)
- The books you return to again and again
- Look at the things that you have chosen for your home - what about them drew you in
- Go through some magazines and build a collage of images that appeal to you - it doesn't have to be for a specific reason. Don't spend time analysing it, just snip out the picture and put it on the page. See where it takes you. Don't be afraid to enjoy the ride.
Like with anything in order to know and understand something you have to put in time and study it. So make yourself the subject of choice for the semester and study all the little pieces that make you fit together. Get curious about what makes you tick as a person. Curiosity will lead you to knowing what brings you joy and it will motivate you to go out and find more of that.