This was my challenge and mantra going in to the challenge:
'I am challenging myself to get out one hundred words a day for the month of April whilst I prepare for my first set of exams in May and take on the challenges of a new job as of tomorrow.
My mantra - play not perfection. "
Except for "P" in which I used my favourite poem I not only managed to post every day of the challenge, but I also kept the posts limited to 100 words and juggled that between studies and a new job. Patting myself on the back on the back as that is an achievement for me as my writing has been allowed to be added to the pile of 'procrastination' for the longest while!
So what is my challenge and mantra going forward?
I have wanted to kick start my blogging again for a while. There are words trapped inside of me that need an outlet and I have learnt that the best kind of therapy I can engage in, and that actually works for me, is that of getting the thoughts out of my head and on to paper as something tangible. The physical action of writing soothes my anxieties and allows me to gain perspective and clarity around whatever issue I am trying to make sense of.
Not only that but the act of keeping a journal, or even just jotting down thoughts in my daily diary, acts as a memory bank for me. I have diaries now from the last 3 or 4 years packed with cards, movie tickets, receipts, and all sorts of in betweens that allow me to remember happy days, or even sad days, on this journey that is my life. Write those things down - quotes you hear that resonate, funny things said by kids or colleagues, your impression of a new place visited or movie seen. When life is tough, as it so often is, these are the things that help us remember that even on the darkest days the sun did eventually come out again.
We have 35 weeks left of 2019 and 25 letters let if in the alphabet. My intention is to write longer pieces on each of the words I used throughout April, with some extra weeks for reflections on whatever else captures my attention. There is so much going on in the world at the moment and I know my voice is but a small squeak on the radar of all the noise we filter each day. For me this is merely an exercise in accountability. And for my readers I hope you find something of value in my words.
At the end of April I posted the following on my Facebook page:
April you have been amazingly and joyfully complicated for me.... new job, new commute, new challenges, airport goodbyes, assignments, exam preparation, Easter, Buddist Retreat Centre, facing fears and letting go of limiting beliefs, finding joy on the dark days and spreading joy on the light days, no ADSL for 10 days, no water for 2, strikes and roads blockaded, floods, churches burning down, people killed in mindless shootings in Sri Lanka over Easter, cyclones in Mozambique, Pagan Festivals, A-Z Blog Challenge, finding my yoga rhythm......
Doesn't sound possible in just 30 days... exhausted but I have survived with a smile on my face and gratitude in my heart for all the good that has come to me in spite of the challenges, anxiety and fears...
May - you have your work cut out for you
Each day challenged me just a little bit more than the one before but I wouldn't have changed any of the experiences. They are what shape me and each day is a lesson for me to keep doing the best I can with what I have and to know that as long as I meet the world with kindness I am always striving for my highest good.
My mantra for the rest of this year will be that of Conscious Choice in all that I do.
Life is intentional, not accidental.
I bless this central fact.
Consciousness instigates shifts in outer reality.
Recognising that I have the power to change my world by changing my thinking,
I set for myself a gentle vigilance toward negative thoughts.